Be There For The Big Moments in Your Boy’s Life

Image by Art Skoo from Pixabay 

One of the most important things you can do for your son is be there for the big moments. 

Milestones are important to all children, but boys and girls may have different priorities and things that they deem significant in their lives. As a parent, you can reinforce the things that matter in raising a delightful young man while strengthening your relationship with your son. 

There will be big moments in your son’s life, and it’s essential to be there for them. However, this doesn’t always mean that you have to be there physically. Of course, when they are little, and they’re taking part in sports day or a school play, then it’s important to be there to see them and what they achieve, but as they grow older, you can’t be on their first date with them (even if you want to be) but you can be there and help them in other ways throughout their life. 

Help Him Discover His Passions and Talents

If you want your son to be successful, then you need to discover what he is passionate about in life. Find out what he is good at, what his talents are, and what he enjoys doing. According to Child Development Info, many children don’t recognize where they have talent, so you need to be on the lookout for this when they are young. If you nothing that your son is good at something and he enjoys doing it, encourage that activity! However, don’t put too much pressure on him and turn it into an activity he hates. By boosting your son’s passions, not only will you be there physically when he is playing tennis or acting in the school play, but he will always know that you support him. 

Let Him Be Himself

It’s very easy to use gender stereotypes, but today you really don’t have to, and by not doing this, you will allow your son to be himself and be free to be or do whatever he wants. Be careful of how you and your family divide up the chores in your house. For example, if you have girls too, then don’t automatically ask them to do the cooking and washing. Take turns with your partner to do what would be deemed traditional feminine and masculine household tasks. According to studies, men who have fewer gender stereotypes report happier marriages and more positive romantic relationships, which is great news. When they’re younger, though, it is no secret that there is a lot more freedom for girls to express themselves; being a ‘tomboy’ has long been accepted, whereas people tend to freak a bit more about a boy wearing a dress or nail polish. It’s also important not to pressure your son to be great at sports, they’re not for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to be physically active. Another thing to remember is not to presume that they’re going to grow up to date girls. If you can have this attitude when raising your son, you will be there for those big moments because he will know he can come to you and be who he is. 

Teach Your Son Grooming Habits and Boost His Self Esteem

This might sound like an odd thing to mention, but that’s why it shouldn’t be overlooked. Boys care about their looks too, and whether your son spends hours in the bathroom gelling his hair and putting eyeliner on or fills the house with his cheap aftershave, good grooming habits should be encouraged but in a way not to knock his self-esteem. From a young age, boys care about how they look, from losing their front teeth to getting glasses; some boys are very conscious about their appearance, and girls can be just as mean about this as boys can. If your son needs glasses when he is young and is worried about how he looks, then make a big deal of this in a good way, visit websites together to choose glasses, and show him all the cool people who wear them. As your son gets older, it’s essential that he has good grooming habits; you don’t want him showing up to a job interview with a creased shirt, bad breath, or body odor, nor do you want him showing up on a date like this. So again, by doing these things throughout your son’s life is a way to ensure that you can help during the big moments. Even if he doesn’t want your help getting ready for his first date, the fact that you have taught him well will mean that he doesn’t need your help. 

Encourage Your Son’s Emotions

Today, boys aren’t typically brought up being told not to cry as they were years ago. However, there are still many stereotypes that encourage boys not to be emotional, and the saying “Big boys don’t cry” is still around, and you might even hear people say, “You’re acting like a girl,” which is insulting to girls more than anything. It’s crucial that your son is allowed to have his emotions, to feel what he feels, and to express it. Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45, which is terrible and shouldn’t be the case. Boys shouldn’t be encouraged to hide their emotions and shouldn’t feel embarrassed for expressing them. Again this is something that if you encourage when your boy is growing up, it will mean you are there for when he needs you, for when things have gone wrong, and he needs a shoulder to cry on because he will know that he can come to you for support and he will know that he can freely express how he feels in front of you.  

Teach Good Communication Skills

Communication skills are essential for any boy to become successful in their adult life. If you want your son to have good relationships and a career that he wants, good communication skills are a must. The first step toward teaching good communication skills is to limit your child’s access to technology. While this can be difficult in this day and age, it’s more important than ever in a world where people text and email; there are young adults who are scared to talk on the phone or don’t know how to have a proper conversation when they start working. So, if you want your son to be a well-rounded guy, then spend time interacting with him instead of both of you looking at screens. Talking with your son every day and making conversation helps to form good communication skills, so have a chat with them every day and ask open-ended questions to get them used to this and to simply know the art of communication and to expand their vocabulary. If you have a teenager who is already spending too much time on his phone or video games and you only get grunts from him, it is not too late to instill some good communication skills because we can all improve our communication skills throughout our lifetime. Do this now and when he gets his first job because of a great interview, he’ll have you to thank. 

When you make an effort to be there for the big moments, your son will notice — and that will have a profound impact on your relationship and his self-esteem.

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The Building Boys Bulletin

The Building Boys Bulletin Newsletter gives you the facts, encouragement, and inspiration you need to help boys thrive. Written by Jennifer L.W. Fink, mom of four sons and author of Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males, Building Boys Bulletin includes:

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“I learned a lot about helping boys thrive over the past 20+ years — most of it the hard way! I’m eager to share what I’ve learned to make your path a little easier.”   – Jennifer

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