Being a Man

Photo by edenpictures via Flickr
Photo by edenpictures via Flickr

Being a man has nothing to do with being a tough guy, or hiding your emotions, getting in fights, or getting the most woman. That’s not being a man.  That’s an immature  boy, that is not a man.  Too many grown men who cling to being a boy and who won’t grow into a man. Maybe it’s because society has lost view as to a real man is.

Think about all of the great men of history.  Think about those whom you respect and look up to.  Think about your father… or whom you wished your father would act like when you were a kid.  Think about all of the positive male role models in books, TV series, and movies that stand the test of time.

Look at Ghandi, Mr. Luther King, Jesus, Churchill, Lincoln, Einstein, Hawking, Mandela.  Look at heroes of literature and popular fiction like Gandalf, Skywalker, Batman, Superman.  Look at your male teachers, clergy, and do-gooders of the world.

All men (real or fictional) who stand the test of time all share three similar characteristics.

THIS is what it is to be a man.

1. Be responsible

Have a job. Keep your word.  Do good wherever you go. Take responsibility for your actions.  Apologize when wrong. Fix your mistakes.  Improve the world around you. Never stop trying to grow as a person.  Take care of your family and friends.  Play with your kids.

2. Protect the weak

Help those in need.  When someone falls, pick them up and lend a helping hand.  Don’t get into fights or arguments for the wrong reasons. Don’t be a bully… physically, emotionally, or intellectually. Violence is always the last resort.   Defend those who cannot defend themselves.  Stand up for your beliefs, but be open to change.  Know when to take a stand, when to listen, and when to walk away.

3. Have integrity

Keep your word.  Be honest. Honor your commitments.  Be a loving husband and a caring father. Don’t cheat on your spouse or significant other. Do what you know is right, even if isn’t popular.  It’s OK to say no.  Respect others and their opinions. Take time to understand others viewpoint; you just may learn something.

Vincent Wondra is the proud father of Madalyn (age 9) and Violet, (age 4).  He aims to be a great father, spouse, and man so when the day comes, his daughters know what to look for and choose boyfriends and eventually husbands wisely. Vince is also the owner of   Bootstrap Business Solutions. Follow him in Twitter (@VincentWondra) and Google +. (Full disclosure: He’s also brother to BuildingBoys founder Jennifer L.W. Fink.)

The Building Boys Bulletin

The Building Boys Bulletin Newsletter gives you the facts, encouragement, and inspiration you need to help boys thrive. Written by Jennifer L.W. Fink, mom of four sons and author of Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males, Building Boys Bulletin includes:

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“I learned a lot about helping boys thrive over the past 20+ years — most of it the hard way! I’m eager to share what I’ve learned to make your path a little easier.”   – Jennifer

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