Raising Gentlemen

Raising gentlemen is more challenging than it sounds. 

Most of us are. But as you’ve likely already learned, raising kids is not for the faint-hearted. We WANT to raise great guys  — we want our boys to grow into polite, well-mannered, educated, courteous and respectful gentlemen — but actually doing so can turn out to be a challenge, as many boys are primarily interested in playing video games with their friends or just doing their own thing.

mother & son riding a twist car

Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels

Raising boys requires a tremendous amount of patience, affection, care, and love. Even though it sometimes feels as if you are about to lose your mind. 

You have to bite down on your lip, clench your jaw, breathe and teach them the way of life and how the world works and prepare them for when the day they leave the nest.

You can increase your chances of raising a gentlemen if you….

Take a Meaningful Interest in What Interests Him

If your son loves outdoor games and sports, it’s easy to get involved and support him. For example, if he has a favorite baseball team and wants to watch a game, take some time out of your busy day and go with him! To show him that you are interested, go the extra mile and have baseball shirts made. He will most definitely love you for it and get even more excited when you take him to watch the game.

Photo by Ryutaro Tsukata from Pexels

Listen To What He Has To Say

For some reason, some parents and society specifically have the detrimental habit of quieting boys when they try to speak up, engage in a conversation or highlight how they feel. It is absolutely ridiculous! Kids speak more truth than most adults. Listen to what your son has to say, even if it is a rush of his thoughts or what he did today. Make time and talk to him, pay special attention to him and allow him to express himself.

Break The Emotionless Cycle 

We’ve been raised in a world where it is frowned upon for men and boys to show emotions. “Men are supposed to be tough.” NO! Be the one that breaks that ridiculous and dangerous cycle! Make sure your son knows that he is allowed to show his emotions. He is allowed to cry, laugh or be angry. Make him feel comfortable knowing that he can be open and honest with you about anything. Boys and grown-up men are human, too; they also have feelings and emotions. Bottling it all up will cause significant health and mental issues in the future. Break the Cycle!

man carrying son on his shoulders

Photo by Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

Give Him Responsibility

Finishing tasks and following directions can sometimes be a slow process for a boy. Boys have so much energy that they forget what they were doing and rush off to do something else. Include him in daily household activities and ask him to bring you the milk when you make tea or a spoon for when you make pasta. Include him when taking care of a pet or doing some household chores, but make it a fun activity not to feel forced or punished.

Take Care Of His Mental Health

Lastly, Always take care of the mental health of your kids. It doesn’t matter what age they are, good mental health is vital for all individuals, and it starts in childhood. 

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The Building Boys Bulletin

The Building Boys Bulletin Newsletter gives you the facts, encouragement, and inspiration you need to help boys thrive. Written by Jennifer L.W. Fink, mom of four sons and author of Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males, Building Boys Bulletin includes:

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“I learned a lot about helping boys thrive over the past 20+ years — most of it the hard way! I’m eager to share what I’ve learned to make your path a little easier.”   – Jennifer

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