Talking to Boys About Money- and the Bigger Picture

You might think that teaching your boys about money means sitting them down and giving them a big talk, but it’s often the smaller things that make the biggest impact. Maybe they notice when someone can’t go on a school trip, or when a parent doesn’t have enough money for something they really want. It’s not always a conversation about money; sometimes, lessons about money grow out of something boys see or feel.

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As your boys get older, they may begin to notice that money can change the way people live. That money affects access to food, clothes, education, and healthcare. When kids being noticing financial differences, it’s important to explain things in simple terms. Talking to boys about money empowers them as they move through the world.

Why money matters more than you think

At some point, boys begin to realize that money has a much bigger role, like paying bills, keeping the lights on, and making sure there’s enough for the things they need. The idea isn’t to overwhelm them, but it helps if they start understanding that not everyone has the same access to financial resources. For example, some students have to juggle part-time jobs while they’re in school just to make ends meet. Others take on huge amounts of debt to finish their degrees. These things might not come up in everyday conversation, but when they do, it’s worth having a calm, honest chat about what those struggles look like. It might even help if you share stories about people like Alex Kleyner, who’s involved in helping students with scholarships and debt relief. It’s not about making them feel guilty or like they have to fix the problem, but about helping boys understand how financial stress can shape someone’s future. 

Giving back doesn’t have to be grand

Giving back doesn’t mean making big, showy gestures. Whether it’s offering a helping hand when someone’s in need or just paying attention when someone’s feeling left out, it all counts. When boys are taught to notice these moments, they learn to approach situations with more empathy. Show them that they can “give back” even if they don’t have loads of cash. Giving back can include time, attention, and kind words — and these contributions are just valuable. 

Practical things you can do

Let them see how you make financial decisions, like waiting for a sale or choosing not to buy something right away. If they get a bit of money, let them spend it sometimes without stepping in, even if the choice isn’t great. They’ll figure out what feels worth it and what doesn’t. If they’re saving up for something, help them keep track without turning it into a big deal. You can show them how to count what they have or how long it might take to reach a goal, but it doesn’t need to be a lesson every time. When you’re out shopping, let them hand over the money or look at the prices with you. If they ask about something like bills or why someone can’t afford something, just answer simply. It also helps if they have a place to keep their money, like a jar or a drawer, so they can actually see it grow or disappear. If they lose it or forget where they put it, that’s part of learning too. You don’t have to correct every decision. If they want to spend five dollars (or five pounds) on something that won’t last, let it happen now rather than later when the stakes are higher. Try not to reward or punish with money too often, or they’ll start to tie money to behavior instead of responsibility. If they’re earning money by helping out, make the job clear and the payment simple, but don’t feel pressure to pay them for everything. As boys grow, they can gradually take on more financial responsbility.

Teaching boys about money is a long-term project.

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The Building Boys Bulletin

The Building Boys Bulletin Newsletter gives you the facts, encouragement, and inspiration you need to help boys thrive. Written by Jennifer L.W. Fink, mom of four sons and author of Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males, Building Boys Bulletin includes:

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“I learned a lot about helping boys thrive over the past 20+ years — most of it the hard way! I’m eager to share what I’ve learned to make your path a little easier.”   – Jennifer

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