Are you having trouble with your boy’s behavior? If so, you aren’t alone! Many parents find the issue of behavior and discipline very tough to negotiate with their sons. But help is at hand. Read on for 4 helpful tips and insights:
Clear expectations
Firstly, it’s very important that you give your sons very clear expectations. This needs to be done explicitly — write your behavior expectations down if need be. This helps them know exactly what is expected of them at any given time — something that provides them with a sense of security when making the decision for themselves.
It also helps when they push against the boundaries, — something that they will all do from time to time — because you will have a clear definition to stick to when explaining what the problem is.
Consistency
Consistency is also a major issue when dealing with boys and their behavior. This consistency needs to come from you, their parents. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, and it may mean that you have to make a change to the way that you have been doing things. But that is OK; getting on top of behavior is a process.
Consistency means always giving the same consequence for similar sorts of rule-breaking behavior. For example, you son may have missed his curfew, so you ban computer game use for a day. There is no point grounding him for a month one time, and saying: “Don’t worry just don’t do it again,” the next. He has to know that there will always be a punishment and that it will be proportionate to the issue.
Consistency also means being consistent in the way that you interact with your son. That means not getting angry when he breaks the rule, but instead simply giving a consequence. This helps you to make it less of a personal issue between the two of you, and more about him and his choices.
Peer Pressure
Unfortunately for boys, a major influencing factor in their behavior is peer pressure. This can be a very difficult thing for parents to deal with effectively because it is so powerful. Guys certainly don’t want to lose face in front of their ‘bros’ and will do anything, however stupid, to avoid doing so.
In part, this can be dealt with by being clear and consistent, as mentioned above. But if you are doing this and things are still getting out of hand, it may be time to take more drastic action.
This might involve getting some help from a behavioral specialist, or even packing up stuff and moving to get him away from the negative influences in his life. (Yes, that does include all the stress of moving such as finding a new house and transporting all your stuff there. But you can make things a bit easier by hiring a moving company like Bekins, and it’s a question of priorities here.)
Rebellion and autonomy
Lastly, remember that just because your son is breaking the rules doesn’t mean he is a bad person. In fact, it’s a normal part of growing up and learning to make his own decisions — something that is important for him to do if he is to be a fully rounded human being.
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