Are you struggling to bond with your kids?
Perhaps you used to have a strong bond with them when they were younger but now you struggle with it? Or, maybe you feel like you’ve failed to forge a powerful bond and you’re trying to come up with ways that you can fix that?
Bonding with boys can be tough, especially if you’re a mom who doesn’t quite “get” boys. But, the good news is that there are plenty of ways you can connect with your sons. Try these ideas:
Pursuing Hobbies You Both Enjoy
The first thing that you can do if your kids are a little older is to pursue hobbies with them that you both enjoy. Or, at the very least, something that they enjoy and you pretend to enjoy just as much. (Playing video games, perhaps?) Participating in a shared hobby gives you something to talk about – and you may discover that you share more in common than you think!
If you have multiple kids with different interests, you can try to find something you all enjoy, but if that doesn’t work then you’re going to have to pick one for each of them. It’s important that if you’re doing separate hobbies that you are aware of the amount of time you are spending on each. You need to try and make this as equal as possible, else you are going to be accused of having favorites.
Open And Honest Communication
Another thing that you should be thinking about is ensuring that you are engaging in open and honest communication with your children at all times. There are going to be times where this is difficult, but you can find ways to get through them. If you are awkward and make it uncomfortable or painful to talk to you, they’ll learn to avoid conversations — and that’s clearly not helpful when trying to bond with your kids!
One thing that you have to remember is that kids learn how to react to their emotions and situations from you. If you make them feel bad about themselves for making mistakes, that may become their inner monologue for the rest of their life. Do your best to communicate calmly and compassionately, and apologize when you blow up. (Don’t beat yourself up about it either; we all do it from time to time. Take some time to calm down, apologize, and repair. You’ll be setting a great example for your kids!)
Don’t Post Everything On Social Media
Social media does not need to know your whole life, and your kids may start to feel violated and as though they are a spectacle if you just post everything they say and do for the world to see. If you want to post something about your kids, ensure that you know all about privacy on social media as this will help you understand how to keep your profile safe. You will be able to share your content with people that you know and love when appropriate, rather than sharing it with people who have no business knowing anything about your kids. Also, ensure that you are asking if they are okay with you posting before you do.
Be As Observant As You Can Without Invading Their Privacy
This one is really hard to do, but you have to be as observant as you can of your child without invading their privacy. It’s a very, very difficult task because you don’t want to cross any boundaries but you also want to ensure that they are safe, healthy, and happy. Crossing boundaries can harm your relationship with your child which is why it’s so important to be careful.
For example, don’t read their journal or diary if they have one, and don’t go through their private stuff unless you have a genuine cause for concern and you are worried about their safety. Instead, observe them, try to talk to them if you think something is going on, and be as understanding as you can.
Remember: Bonds between parent and child are built and strengthened over time. You’ve got this!
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