Teaching Consent to a 12-Year-Old Boy

The word “consent” has crept to the forefront of national conversation lately, thanks to the #MeToo movement and allegation after allegation after allegation of inappropriate behavior by famous (and not-so-famous) men. Even God, a.k.a, Morgan Freeman, has now been accused of sexual harassment. None of this was on my mind when I received an email […]

Most-Read Posts of 2017

2017 was the year I realized how hungry parents are for information about tween and teen boys — and yet another year in which my own teens challenged everything I thought I knew. (For most of the year, I had 3 teens and 1 tween.) It was a year in which sex and consent were […]

What Boys (& Parents) Need to Know About Sex & Consent

It’s not easy to talk about sex, consent & rape. It’s not easy to read, write or think about those topics either. And that’s the real reason why this post is coming a full 2 1/2 weeks after I announced Blurred Lines: Rethinking Sex, Power, & Consent On Campus as BuildingBoys’ most recent book club […]

BuildingBoys Book Club: Blurred Lines

This month’s book might be an uncomfortable read. But if you have high school or college-aged sons, I recommend joining us anyway. Sex and consent are two topics we can’t shy away from, and they’re the central focus of journalist Vanessa Grigoriadis’ new book, Blurred Lines: Rethinking Sex, Power, & Consent on Campus. The book is […]

Most-Read Posts of 2016

What a year it’s been! In 2016, we covered everything from boys & school (a constant, recurring topic) to how to talk to boys about “locker room banter“ (a topic most of us never imagined would come up in the course of a Presidential election). We’ve shared stories, information and encouragement, built our community (have […]

How To Talk to Boys about Dating and Sexuality

It’s hard enough to talk body parts and their intricacies with a fellow adult; discussing them with a teenager who’d rather have his spleen removed by tiny gnawing rodents than hear you say “penis” is a feat like no other.  — Heidi Stevens It is not easy to discuss sex and dating with teen boys. […]

Illustrated Guide to Rape Culture & the Importance of Sexual Consent

It can be very, very difficult to talk to our boys about rape culture and sexual consent. In many cases, they don’t want to hear it and we don’t want to talk about it. But it is ESSENTIAL to talk to our boys (& girls) about the importance of consent, and it ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL that our […]

Talking to Boys About Donald Trump & “Locker Room Banter”

The news is impossible to miss: Donald Trump said, on tape, that he grabs women by the pussy. That he kisses them without consent. Many others will debate and discuss what this means for American politics. What this moment means for American parents is that we all — ALL — need to have a talk […]

A Better Way to Talk to Boys About Rape Culture

Ask them, “What do you think about the words, ‘rape culture?’” Then listen. Listen to what they say and to what they express. Listen for the silences and hesitation. Listen past the defensiveness. Bite your own tongue, if you must, but instead of building a rebuttal, try to hear what’s behind your boys’ words. Paraphrase […]

Stop Sexual Abuse With These 6 Steps

1 in 6. 1 in 6 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 18. The stat is scary — scary enough that most of us push it out of our minds. We push it out of our minds because it’s uncomfortable and scary and, I believe, because we know, on some […]