Top Posts of 2019

2019: Conversations about boys move to center stage. CBSN created a documentary about raising boys. The American Psychological Association released recommendations for working with boys and men, igniting a debate about “traditional masculinity.” At home, parents of boys continued to grapple with screen time and video games. In schools, boys were still disproportionately represented at […]

How to Stop School Shootings

There have been 18 school shootings in the United States in 2018* – in a year that is only 46 days old.  Yesterday, a 19-year-old male — and yes: to date, the school shooters have all been male — walked into his former high school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, and killed 17 […]

Weapons Play Is OK

My boys’ fascination with weapons has all but passed. At the ages of 19, 16, 14 and 11, they’re not much interested in guns (real or pretend – save for the occasional Nerf battle), and the lightsabers that once saw so much action are collecting dust in the toy bin. But a few years ago, […]

Common Sense Guidelines for Gun Play

If you have boys, you can safely assume that, at some point, they will play with guns. If your boys happen to be young — say, under the age of two — you may be vigorously disagreeing with me right now. You might be thinking, My boys will never play with guns!  I have news […]

In Defense of Boys & Guns

This is a PopTart. It’s a pretty non-threatening almost-food that is commonly eaten by young children and adults who hope to recapture a moment of youth. Photo by Jennifer L. W. Fink This is a boy. (One of mine, actually.) Adding a boy such as this to a Poptart does not turn the Poptart into […]

Boys, Bullying & Guns

The 16-year-old California boy shot a classmate who allegedly bullied him. The main story line — boy brings gun to school and shoots — is, sadly, not a new one. We have seen and heard this story before, far too many times. And whatever your stance is on guns, parenting, boys, education or bullying, I […]

Boys & Violence

Building Boys Featured Image

Image by woodleywonderworks via Flickr Are boys predisposed to violence? I’m not talking about play wrestling. I’m talking about serious violence. Have you noticed that virtually every mass murderer was male? That the school shooting and mass shootings that pop up on our news casts far too often typically feature a young male shooter? You […]

Boys & Violence

Building Boys Featured Image

Image by woodleywonderworks via Flickr Are boys predisposed to violence? I’m not talking about play wrestling. I’m talking about serious violence. Have you noticed that virtually every mass murderer was male? That the school shooting and mass shootings that pop up on our news casts far too often typically feature a young male shooter? You […]

The Challenge of Raising Boys

Photo via U.S. National Archives What concerns you the most about parenting boys?  Three of my top 3 boy-raising concerns are: 1) Respect. I want my boys to learn to treat men and women, young and old, with respect, and I’d like that respect to show in their words and deeds. Overall, my boys are […]

The Marinette Shooting and the Culture of Fear

The headline last night — “Armed student reportedly holding high school classroom hostage in Wisconsin” — took my breath away. I live in Wisconsin. And I still desperately want to believe that things like that don’t happen in Wisconsin. But they do. As you now know, a 15-year-old male student held about two dozen students […]